i already hear my dad disowning me
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
3 2 1 whiskey
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
