he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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