i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
sex in a hospital.. check
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
