My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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