You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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