if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Randomize
