What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
This couple is walking their pig around campus
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
