she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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