like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
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