question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
