I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
