About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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