Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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