WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
