Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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