do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
