but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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