Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Go christen that room with your naked body.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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