That's intense
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
