If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
