Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize