I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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