So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize