What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
