Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
