Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
