Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
