R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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