I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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