Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
