We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
wow bdsm is so cute
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