As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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