I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
