its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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