once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
