and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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