awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Randomize
