it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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