She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I will die if light touches me.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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