I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
