Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
