OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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