If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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