I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
