Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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