i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
