i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
