I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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