OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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