I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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