Sry I called you an 8
I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Randomize
