Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
