In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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