so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
