Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I'm like, not good at living.
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