I cockslap morals
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
