i think i recognize dicks better than faces
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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