i already hear my dad disowning me
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
