So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Randomize
