I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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