Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

is swine flu sexually transmttd?

(313): View more from Michigan

Ha no, why?

(248): View more from Michigan

sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad

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(+44): View more from England

why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??

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(323): View more from California

Where??

(310): View more from California

Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry

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(972): View more from Texas

oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut

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(502): View more from Kentucky

She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.

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(347): View more from New York

Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.

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(310): View more from California

Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?

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(478): View more from Georgia

I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw

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(585): View more from New York

I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk

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