Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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