I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Randomize