My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
