What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
