Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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