I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
