i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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