if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
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